How Running is Changing My Body Image

Running continues to change my life in many ways. I have a much improved cardiovascular system, my blood pressure is B-E-A-UTIFUL, and new muscles have formed all over my body.

Yet, my body is still FAR from perfect. I can list 100+ things about my body that I'd like to improve, but you know what?

I DON'T CARE.

I need this sign as a reminder.

For the first time since I was 4 years old, I'm starting to get some confidence back concerning my body and body image. I can remember traipsing around Sesame Place water park when I was four with my little, slightly round stomach protruding out. I happily splashed around and played with my parents (this was before my little sister came into the picture so I was spoiled!). The only thing I remember thinking about that was body related was how the seat on the fire truck was really hot when I was taking a picture in it.

If I ever have a daughter, I never want her to be as wrapped up with weight as I am/was.

And then I grew up. I became aware of my body compared to others in 2nd grade. I was told by the doctor that I was overweight and put on my very first "diet". No more whole milk, no more soda, no this, that and the other thing. And so began the saga of always labeling myself as "fat".

Currently I am overweight. I'm working to change this as I train for the marathon. I'm much more active than I've ever been, and I love it. Well, I don't love it all the time like when my muscles are tight and cause me a lot of pain, but you know what I mean!

Through running, I've become much more aware of my body. I know when I need water and/or nutrition. I know what aches and pains to push through, and which ones to stop before I do something regrettable. I'm amazed at what my body can do and what it is capable of.

Found this on Deviant Art. Very Awesome!

Now that I'm officially a "half-marathon-er," I have an extra spring in my step. I may not look like someone who runs a half marathon (and soon a full!), but I'm still a runner and I never give up. My confidence level is much higher than it has ever been, and I've noticed my increased willingness to wear tank tops and shorter shorts (I used to stick to shorts that landed at or a tiny bit above my knee).

River has no qualms about body image.
Here she is claiming my closet as her own and photo-bombing my picture.

Sure, people can think what they want. Other people may look and comment, but that says more about them than it does about me. I'd never wear anything that is indecent like those shorts that look like underwear. I draw the line at going that short. I wear things that fit and cover up my ample backside (that I am also proud of! My glutes are lookin' good!), and make sure any other private areas are covered and respectable.

Oh yeah, sweet glutes

For the first time in forever...[cue music from Frozen] I love my body. My body is SO MUCH MORE than what it appears to be. Many times we take for granted how amazing the human body is and only look at the appearance. The next time you feel down on yourself take a few seconds to think about what your body can do instead of how it looks. Chin up buttercup!

Look at those high arches on my feet! *rawr*

Blog title change

The half marathon has changed my attitude toward myself completely.

I decided to change the title of my blog.

"Muffin Top Marathoner" is degrading to myself and other overweight runners like me. Yes, I'm not where I want to be with my body. I'm working to change that, and I am determined to do so before the full marathon. Yes, looking good is a perk of losing the weight, but become a better, faster, endurance runner with less minor injuries is the real goal. 

Instead of calling attention to my physical self with this blog; I want to focus on my achievements as a person. Completing an endurance race, whether a 5k or full marathon is a huge achievement, especially for those, like myself, who didn't think it was possible due to the restriction larger runners put on themselves. 

Just because you are not at your "goal weight" or larger than society thinks you should be DOES NOT mean that you are restricted from taking up a sport you are interested in. Back when I was a bit heavier then I am now I thought I needed to lose weight before starting to run. I'm glad I ignored myself.

I recently had a customer come in and tell me that I shouldn't be running due to my size. I recognize that this body type is not optimal right now, but I am working on it. He continued to make remarks and tear me down for the remainder of my time with him. I told him that I was running a half in April and a full marathon in October. He told me to put off the full and focus on losing the weight first. Also, he told me that I wouldn't be running for long at my current weight and it was a matter of time until a serious injury took me out. I know women and men heavier than me train for and complete MULTIPLE half and full marathons without serious injury. My co-workers were very tempted to tell him to get out, but I just tried to brush it off. Sadly, it has stuck with me. 

Overweight and very skinny people know about their body type and DO NOT need "average sized" people to draw attention to it. I'm overweight and my husband is a very slim build. We both have issues with clothing and with people that like to point out our body types. People tell me to eat less and him to eat more. I've made comments like, "eat a cheeseburger" to a skinny person before and now that I live with one I realize how disrespectful that is. We need to stop focusing on the superficial and look at the overall person. I'm more than just overweight. My husband (and several friends and family members I know) are more than just "a bag of bones" or "just need to eat more." Sadly, in a culture that focuses on the superficial this is hard to overcome.

I'm not going to perpetuate stereotypes and a negative body image anymore. And I'm starting by changing the title of my blog. This is the end of my personal obsession with my weight.

No more.

:) Comic relief. That was a heavy post.